When I was in Graduate school at Franciscan University, I developed a book buying addiction. As a struggling college student I probably should’ve been more financially frugal, but if you’ve ever been to the bookstore on campus, you’ll sympathize with me. They had row upon row of amazing books about anything and everything Catholic. In my hunger to study and learn more about the faith I was blessed to have plenty of resources at my disposal. One day when I was perusing the bookstore, I stumbled upon a tiny little booklet called, “Speaking from the Heart” by Fr. Richard McAclear. It had a humble little picture on the cover and was nothing special looking from the outside, but as I quickly read through a few of the pages, I could see what a treasure this little book was. This booklet soon became a staple for me whenever I visited Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. I would sit before our Lord, reading through these meditations, and I could sense Jesus speaking to my heart through each word. It was helping heal my heart. I sent it to a friend, started sharing it with clients I was counseling, and utilized it during ministry.
When my now husband and I were dating, he would read this to me over the phone to help me fall asleep at night whenever I was struggling through something. Once we got married, we continued to read these meditations to each other. These meditations have brought great healing and peace to my heart in the moments when I needed it the most, so my prayer is that everyone I am able to share this with, will experience the same fruits. This is one of my favorite mediations in the book.
Healing of the Heart Meditation:
In your mind’s eye, picture Jesus seated in majestic splendor and yet, at the same time, very approachable because there is such a love that emanates from Him. It is a tremendous love, full of compassion and understanding. Even though you stand in awe of the majesty that is Jesus-His glory and splendor, His divinity, His might and power-He is still approachable. You are attracted to His eyes that look upon you so lovingly and with such understanding. He leans down and beckons to you. He opens His arms to you and you approach Him. He picks you up and puts you on His lap. He puts His arms around you and, sitting there on the lap of Jesus, you have never felt so safe, so secure, and so much at peace. You put your head back to rest on His shoulder. All your tensions melt, all the stress, all anxiety drain from your body. He is your Lord and your friend.
Because you feel completely secure in His arms, you tell Him of your fears, your anxieties and your needs. You fear tomorrow, you don’t see the future and you don’t understand the present. You feel ashamed of the past and you feel unworthy. He wants you to tell Him even though He already knows. He wants you to speak it and He reveals to you, as you are speaking, that there are deeper reasons for fearing the future because of what has happened in the past, fear of trusting because you have been betrayed in the past, fear of hoping because you have been disappointed in the past, inability to trust yourself because you are aware of your weaknesses and you know your sin.
Jesus understands. He listens. He has true compassion. He understands, even more deeply than you do, and that understanding is so deep that it can swallow any sense of condemnation or judgment or anger. He knows your sin and the reason for your sin. He knows your failure and He knows why you failed. He knows your fears and why you are afraid. He knows that you try to trust and He understands why you cannot surrender completely. Now He wants to heal you in that part of your spirit that has been wounded by betrayal and in that part of your soul that has been hurt by disappointment. He wants to touch that part of yourself that has failed so often. He wants to bless you with compassion, love and mercy.
In giving you these gifts, He gifts you with healing, so that you may show love, compassion and mercy, first of all to yourself, and then to others. Show mercy to yourself. Have compassion on yourself. Be loving to yourself. Then out from yourself, let there flow love and compassion to any and all who hurt you, betrayed you, disappointed you, abandoned you, rejected you. Jesus is saying, “I, too, know what it means to be rejected because I was rejected. I was abandoned and I, too, was betrayed. These are wounds that we share.”
In His compassionate and gentle way, Jesus touches these wounds because He wants you to be able to trust. He wants you to rejoice and not remember betrayal. You are to live neither in the past nor in the future. So gently, quietly, lovingly and compassionately He touches these wounds. He cleanses these wounds with His own blood—His own precious, Holy blood, flowing from His own wounds. Then He touches your eyes so that your inner most soul may be enlightened and you would have a deeper understanding, a deeper compassion and a deeper love.
Jesus says to you, “Be at peace, my child, be at peace. You have My Spirit, you have My compassion, you have My understanding, you have My healing—cherish it, treasure it, embrace it, surrender all the hurting places to My touch. Surrender all the failures—this day is a new day and a new beginning because, behold, I make all things new through the gift and power of My Spirit. The old is past and you are being recreated according to My purposes and according to My plan. You are being prepared for the journey that lies ahead and not held back by the experiences of yesterday. Receive my mercy, sweet child, receive it.”
I hope that the words written in the meditation will help transform your heart and bring you into a deeper encounter with Christ who longs to love and heal every inch of your heart 🙂
Thank you Jesus for the peace you bring our hearts in times of great restlessness. Thank you for helping us move past the painful parts of our past with courage and trust in all that awaits us in the future. Thank you for seeing us, speaking to us, and loving us where we are, even when it feels like it’s a thousand miles away from where we should be sometimes. You know what parts of us have felt rejected, what wounds seem to not heal as quickly as we’d like. You touch those places bringing Your mercy, hope and compassion for us. We praise You for Your gentleness and Your patience when we want to turn away from Your healing. You know that this comes from our fear of being hurt or our doubt that we could ever be truly healed. We believe you can heal us Jesus. We trust that You want to heal us. And we surrender our hearts to be healed, in Your time, in Your way, for however long it takes and whatever it may cost us. Amen.
© 2018 Drewe DeJesus
Photo by Tessa Rampersad at Freely Photos